This is Miss Dub's big gift this year.From Joey and Megan: How about how much to spend on Christmas? How much is too much? What about the re-gift?
It's hard for me to say since we only have one little'un, and she won't be getting much this Christmas, because, like us, she doesn't need much. But I was talking to an acquaintance recently who told me that she was telling friends they spend about $2,500 a year on Christmas and her friends were SHOCKED ... because they all spend waaaay more. Yeah, we've never gotten close to the $1,000 mark, but we're a family of three. Personally, I think lots of people overdo it at Christmas. If you're going for quantity, the gifts should be inexpensive and simple. If you are going for quality, you should have a few nice things. No one needs that much. Personally, I think one large gift and a few small ones are adequate. (Totaling $150-$350ish a person.) After all, there is always next Christmas (and the next and the next). As for the re-gift, I think it's best to avoid them. At the least, take back the sweater you loathe for something a friend will actually love, not just like. Oh, but homemade goodies are fair game. Just re-plate them and don't say you made them yourself if you didn't. It gets complicated when people ask for recipes.
But what do you think?
How much do you spend on Christmas? (Yes, you can comment anonymously.)
How much is too much?
And what about the re-gift?
p.s. For extra credit, help out Cichelli: Can I please get some advice on Christmas presents? Do I have to give gifts to karate teachers, little gym instructors, and preschool teachers? What? and how much should it cost? And what do I give my nanny?! coworkers? neighbors?
I don't have a lot of parental experience with karate instructors yet, but I think all of the above (minus the nanny) qualify for a plate of homemade/store-bought goodies. I make salsa, but you really aren't obligated to give them anything. The nanny, however, expects a bonus. Trust me.
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30 comments:
our kids are still pretty little, so we like to keep our christmases small. i am trying to keep their expectations low. i know someday (like when they are teenagers and crave expensive gifts) they will want more, so i am trying to live it up when they're young. i just don't feel like it's necessary to go over board with the presents. afterall, that's not what christmas is about.
growing up, my sister and i were ridiculously spoiled! i dont know dollar amounts by any means but it was just way too much. so much so that i'm putting my foot down for next year and limiting the price to $20-50/person. we're all adults now and really there's nothing we really need or want, that we dont just go out and get for ourselves. presents should be for kids! seeing their excitement and joy is so much more worth it.
as far as teachers, karate, coworkers, etc... baked goods are always good. i wouldn't go expensive at all.
but this is coming from someone who never does gifts for friends... id rather spend time and take them to dinner than buy them a gift they'll eventually throw away =\
Our kids are still small - so we are lucky. I knwo some people who spend so much on JUNK!
We get one gift from the family and one gift from Santa - and a few little things in our stuffing and then one homemade gift. We focus on the home made gift...it adds such a nice touch.
One year we flew to my inlaws and they bought the kids (there were only 2 at the time aged 1 and 2) 75 POUNDS of toys and junk. I was soooo angry!
We go pretty simple, too. One nice thing, and a couple of smaller things. Our kids are getting mostly clothes and a couple of small toys each because they won't know any different.
I think it's acceptable to give your family card/letter and a couple of candy canes to teachers. Then they don't feel obligated to get some fancy froo froo thing for you.
I have to disagree with the store-bought goodies. I wouldn't dare give those to someone. What are you saying? You're not good enough to actually bake for; you're only worth tossing some cookies in the grocery cart.
Seriously I'd rather have a really nice letter from someone than some store-bought crap.
I make my own soap, so that's what I give to school teachers.
As for Karate and piano and all others? They really don't need presents. That is just a recipe for burning yourself out.
I have married into a large family, so we end up spending about $1000 to $1500 a year on gifts, and that's even with a limit of about $50-$75 per person. I only spend more than that on my husband.
For coworkers this year I made peppermint bark and put it in little gift bags. Cheap, festive, and tasty!
I also always make special gifts to charity at Christmas. Hey, there's a topic I'd like to hear about from your readers: favorite charity and why.
thanks to google reader I've been reading your blog for a few weeks and love it. hope you don't think i'm a total weirdo for commenting when i don't actually know you!
we try to keep it simple at christmas time. i have two young boys. we try to stay right in that range (under $250). my husband and i usually buy each other one gift.
we do a gift exchange with my siblings. so each family buys ONE present and gets ONE present.
and all my sibs and i go in on a gift certificate for my mom and dad.
i do barnes and noble gift certificates for the school teacher ($25-35). my 7 year old can be a handful... i think his teacher deserves a reward for that! :) my mom is a teacher and to be honest they get tired of sweets and bath & body works lotions. you know?
neighbors - homemade goodies
nanny - gift certificate around $25-50.
i say if someone has a big impact on my child's life, then i like to show them that i appreciate them.
karate teacher... goodies or small gift certificate.
I am skipping to extra credit.. gift for teachers... I do 'some of my favorite things..' Like- my favorite lip gloss from b & b, and they had the coziest socks... and some chocolate- and then I add a note that says- "these are a few of my favorite things... including you!"- For my kids friends.. I am letting each of my boys invite 4 of their closest friends (that would be 15 boys!) and we are having a little holiday party! I am really excited about it... I will let you know how it goes- after! Good Luck!
We spent $100 a kid this year. That includes presents from siblings, Santa, and Mom and Dad.
For my siblings and my sibs-in-law we draw a name so only give to one family on each side. We try to keep it to $25 for the adults as a couple and $10 for each kid, so this year that was $60. (one single guy, and a couple with one kid)
For our parents, we spent 30-50 for each couple.
For each other, I spent $140 on hubs and he spent like $30 on me (I just went clothes shopping and told him no gifts for me.)
I think that makes our total for the year around $500.
As you can see we are very very cheap. In years past I've always set a dollar amount for a gift from Santa and gifts from Mom and Dad. This year, I got them what they wanted, and if it didn't fit in the dollar amount, I didn't get them more stuff like I have before. If they wanted a $10 toy from Santa, that's what they got. It was so liberating.
Re-gifting- I only do it on stuff like visiting teacher gifts or christmas candles from a neighbor. It gets old trying to figure out what to do for all those people, so I take advantage of other peoples creativity and kindness.
Karate teacher- NO GIFT! Preschool teacher, like $5! Better yet, get everyone to give 5 and then you can get a nice gift card. Nanny- real gift. Like a nice sweater or something.
I'm a piano teacher and I need to say that I REALLY and I mean REALLY appreciate a kind card with kind words. Most often, I don't see the parents as they drop-off and pick-up kids. On Tuesday I had a parent come in and graciously thank me for teaching his children and wished me peace and joy for my family. He was so sincere, I loved it! Mostly because he took the time to come in and say some nice words.
Although, yesterday I got a card from a student who has been a hard student to teach all year, his family included a $25 gift card to Applebees. I appreciate that too-because this kid has really stretched my creativity and teaching skills!
I'll probably remember and cherish the kind words more then the gift certificate though.
I hate going anon, but I wouldn't want to hurt feelings of the people involved here.
I think my parents top everyone in the money saving department. They spend $40 on each kid (there are 4 of us). This isn't a money issue (dad works full-time, mom has worked full- or part-time most of my life) - love her, but my mom is super cheap. I remember one year getting tights and a backpack from Santa - things I didn't want and my friends all got back-to-school shopping. Christmas was more about "Giving my kids necessities so I won't have to buy them in the future and end up saving money." Or the year I desperately needed a suitcase - and my mom called my boyfriend's mother to ask if she wanted to "go in on it" with her (SUPER EMBARRASSING).
Now that I'm an adult, I don't care about the $40 limit, I don't need more stuff. But I am a firm believer that Christmas is the one time of year you should spoil your kids (to a limit - we'll probably do $100 for each child, an extra $20 or so for stockings).
You better be giving that Nanny a sweet bonus. I can tell you she will most definitly expect it! My best friend was a nanny for a family for years, loved them and the girls (sadly) loved her more than their own parents. But anyway, after much deliberation she ended up quiting her job over stinginess with pay. At Christmas time they would give her a nice gift, like jewelry & a bonus.
Teachers, my mom taught preschool for years and would get everything under the sun as gifts. But I'd say baked goods, or something like a starbucks or barns & nobel gift card. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS include a note!
Now that I see most of you are reasonable in the holiday department, I should clarify that we usually spend $100-$150 on spouses, $100 total for other family and will probably spend $50 on Miss Dub this year. I think our most expensive Christmas was last year - maybe $600 - and that's because we bought a Wii.
But so much depends on the year, the gifts requested, the amount of kids, extended family, etc. Add in Christmas travel and it can get pricey for anyone.
Don't ask why I had to itemize my Christmas - I just felt like I was starting to look spendy, when I think we're pretty thrifty. But I still think store-bought goodies are OK - just buy the fancy kind!
You know, we've never kept track.but I know we were spending WAY too much! So this year we limited it to $100 a person. My two year old son has so much stuff already so it was easy to only get him a couple things. I think he be thrilled with what he did get. And as for me and my husband, I don't know. It was hard but fun to budget it out and make things work for what we had to spend. It was really fun this year, that's for sure.
as a former nannny Th bonous is alway nice but the best gift I got was in addition to the bonous a gift certificate to a spa day as well.
I don't know--i have money issues (i like getting new things and spending, but feel like it's something i shouldn't do), and so while we're spending $100 this year on our 21-month-old and about $150 on each other, plus another $200 on decor & family gifts, it still feels like rather a lot to me. (!) BUT, we're in grad school, living off of stipends and loans, and so any big chunk of money on anything not unassailably "necessary" or "important" is a big deal.
But Christmas is a big deal to me, too, and i think it's a time to be celebratory, festive, and generous with each other (within reason). So we set a moderate-to-liberal budget and then i ignore the spending-is-bad feelings and go for it. I want my kids to feel the love and generosity of the season and the excitement of anticipating getting special things they want without feeding materialistic urges in them.
I have to fill 23 stockings this year and I try to keep each at $10 which is quite a feat in itself! We splurge a little at Christmas when we can, but then again I don't spend that much on the kids,glamkids during the year, so it evens out. (I think)
We don't go crazy on Christmas. This year we're getting a bookshelf for our "family" present (ala Ikea - $300) and I spent under $100 on the kidlet. He's only 3, after all. I think spending obscene amounts of money on gifts just reinforces the idea that Christmas is all about Santa Claus and "stuff." That said, if I ever own obscene amounts of money, I may reevaluate. :)
Our Christmas budget is different depending on the circumstances. When we were first married we spent a lot on each other ($150 each) since I was working full time and he had a great summer job, and we were buying things we wanted for our new home (Kitchenaid stand mixer and a cordless drill were the big items).
9 years and 3 kids later, we have limited our spending to about $400 total - including gifts for each other, kids, parents, and siblings. We both have large families and the married siblings trade names, so we only have to buy for one sibling on each side ($20 limit) and one gift for each of our parents. The kid usually get one large present ($20-40), and a few smaller ones.
Although my husband usually goes over budget and spends too much on me (still only about $50).
I do homemade goodies for friends. My son's 1st grade class went in on a customized gift basket for his teacher (it included a gift card).
We also gave the two older kids a $10 limit to buy presents for other family members (about $2.50 a person).
I'm super excited that you picked my question :)
I will have to add my own answers later as I am in charge of our enrichment progressive dinner tonight, so no time nowf~
Never over $500. And that includes everything under the Christmas sun. But my family doesn't expect anything, either. My siblings and I write themed memories each year for our parents. We give each other homemade things, preferably of a sentimental nature. My husband and I don't exchange gifts, because neither of us are really into it. If we really need something, we get it, so Christmas seems silly (that said, we usually end up exchanging $50 worth of gifts each). For the kids we get one big gift (that we can play with together), and a few small gifts. They get $10 to spend on each other. In-laws usually receive spa gift certificates and snapfish calendars. Cousins exchange toys they already own. Neighbors get something small and homemade (traditionally, it has been caramel apples, but this year it's homemade marshmallows), as well as snow-removal all season. Anyone "extra" gets this as well (minus the snow-removal...only immediate neighbors get that). Teachers get something from their "Classroom Supply Wishlist," because that is what they really want: to not have to spend their own money on classroom supplies.
And a note on store-bought goodies:
being married to a germaphobe has really opened my eyes to the wonders of non-homemade treats. So don't suppose that it is only appreciated because you went out of your way to bake it. Going out of your way to buy it is equally as appreciated. Sometimes a little FDA approval goes a long way!
I spend about $100-$200 on my husband, then under $20 on the rest of the family. Since I have an 8 month old, I haven't really spend much on her for Christmas, maybe $30.
For family and friends, I make Christmas boxes with homemade treats like caramels, marshmallows, etc. If you're really wanting to give gifts to teachers, etc, that's the way to go. Something edible.
I think overall I spend less than $500. I don't think it's necessary to spend a load of cash for Christmas to be nice.
I can't imagine spending that much on Christmas but we have been in starving student mode to small family mode for some time now. Since we are just starting out I decided we need to start small and keep it small because Christmas gets blown up way too fast and there is no going back.
I got this from a friend and I think I am going to use it for my family. Santa brings 4 presents - something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. Then something from mom and dad and maybe siblings.
Last year was our first in our home (our starter home as a young family). I wrapped up photos of our home and our washer/dryer set and gifted them to our husband. We bought our 1-yr old daughter a soccer ball with which she was thrilled.
That said, I love going big on Christmas when the cash is there. Just not over the top--like jewelry, electronics--unless the watch or tv are broken.
You shouldn't be expected to gift to all members of extended family. Drawing names for a sibling/family gift exchange is best!
NO BAKED GOODS unless you have a signature, trademarked treat. Many people, myself included, won't eat mystery foods from others' kitchens. However I could make an exception for jam or salsa (the jar seems more sanitary?)
I think trying to stay within a budget on Christmas is great you shouldn't have to go into debt for it-that being said you are supposed to give gifts out of love not obligation and if you only have 10 bones to spend try to make it something thoughtful not just to get it over with. I would give my chidrens teachers a ton of stuff if I could they are the guardians of the most important people in my life! If you can't spend alot don't (I can't) but having extra money in the bank isn't awesome if you are a stingy selfish person.
As our little kid is likely more interested in the unwrapping process than the gift itself, we'll only spend about $25 on him and let the grandparents go crazy. Parents are a $50 limit each, siblings are a $25 limit, and 'the next generation' is $15. With our slightly larger family, this still means our total budget this year was a meager $505. We don't buy for cousins or friends, but we do buy for their kids. We don't get each other anything specifically at Christmas, but the first of the year bonus goes toward something nice for the house that we both can enjoy. (We also allot another $100-ish for the ingredients necessary to make some sort of goodie for all the employees in my husband's office. It keeps me in their good graces.)
okay, so i'm super late, but i have to agree w/ my sister, angy, on this one.
we were RIDICULOUSLY spoiled. i wish that i could convey the amounts of spoiled-itude that we were...
when i was in 7th grade, 'santa' gave me - a bass guitar, a bass amp, a 19" tv, 9 or 10 CDs, clothes, a pager (in my stocking), michael jordan cologne (i was strange) and various random junk. seriously, did you just read that list? i was 13; i didn't believe in santa. i felt ridiculously spoiled.
from that year on, i think angy and i decided not to write santa lists b/c we would get EVERY-LAST-THING on the lists, and we felt guilty about that.
pls don't judge my mom... she didn't have a good childhood, so she spent our childhood ensuring that none other could top ours... and she wasn't rich, wealthy or even upper-middle class.
all that said, i joined mrs. dub's family via her bro, and i love their lower-key christams giving style. everyone seems more than adequately indulged without the rotten side-effects!
yet, somehow i still feel that my $100 limit for hubbs (which i set) is so LOW b/c of how my mom... er, santa gifted when i was a kid!
bunch of cheap mormons.
I think someone wrote that previous comment to be funny!
My hubs and I are tight on finances this year. I think with the economy the way it has been most people are! I think the problem with the US stems from the type of attitude our generation has about money. I say, if you don't have the actual cash don't spend the money! But if you do stick within whatever your set budget is for the year. For us it was about $400.00. That was for everyone! But our kids are still babies so one or two toys for them will be enough once they get their gifts from the grandparents. We didn't get each other anything but we spent the most on our parents. I think we felt that all of their help, support, and love while we were poor and in school needed some kind of gesture so we shelled out the most for them.
I had a heart attack when I read that some people spend a thousand on their kids alone. Yikes!
Not that it matters at this point, but we ended up skipping gifts for karate and little gym teachers. I gave the preschool teacher a big gift basket of V Chocolates (I don't bake--that's a punishment for them, not a present!). And we gave the nanny a spa gift card plus a fat Christmas bonus. It's her job--I expect an xmas bonus at the end of the year, she should get one too.
Anyway, at the end of the day we've probably spent $2,500 on Christmas-from nanny to spouses to kids to inlaws to neighbors to sub for santa... And it felt like a REALLY tight Christmas.
Merry Christmas Laura. Love ya!
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