16 December 2008
HTT - Christmas Card Etiquette
First, Mr. Dub and I don't do Christmas cards. I could say it's an ethical issue, but it's really more about laziness. Plus, we've been moving or pregnant (or fat) several Christmases past, so we just aren't in the habit. Maybe next year. (You know, when I'm a best-selling novelist, and we have fifteen kids and really hot bods.)
Second, thanks to all of you who have sent Christmas cards to me, because I love 'em. You are currently brightening my fridge, because I'm too (you guessed it) lazy to come up with a more clever way to display them.
* Look, should laziness ever become an Olympic sport, as I've suggested in many letters to the IOC, I am in competitive shape*
Third, I'm no Christmas card expert, but I have been reading them for years. As a wee lass, I loved to devour the Christmas update letters, and I still head for them as soon as I walk into my parent's home. That said, I think I can make some suggestions about whether you should brag or not about your life and kids. Short answer: Yes ... and no. Long answer: It depends on three things - tone, length and content.
TONE - Please make your Christmas card funny. Please do not take yourself too seriously or intentionally try to impress us. Please do not write about your son's fourth grade spelling bee as if it was an international event. It's not. I personally prefer a little sarcasm, but that's me. Did I mention it should be funny?
LENGTH - Number of kids, pets and accomplishments aside, do not exceed two pages (front and back preferred). Any longer and you are boring everyone, even your grandma. She told me. Plus, length and bragginess are in direct proportion. A few key accomplishments and family highlights are one thing; a detailed trip itinerary is another. If we cared, we would call you. No offense.
CONTENT - Year-end highlights include things like births, moves, major accomplishments, life updates, etc. That does not include your menu for Christmas dinner. That does not include an excerpt from your recent public address. That does not include a paragraph about your appliance woes. And, yes, I have read all these things in letters, and I am still mocking them years later. Be warned.
Other things that bug me - people who write in a quirky third person, like the baby wrote it, or devote an entire page to the dog. Oh, and if you are going to the trouble to write a letter, please include a picture.
What about you?
Do you think it's OK to brag about your family in a Christmas card?
What's the best/worst letter you've ever read?
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33 comments:
You said it perfectly. I get really annoyed with some year end run downs. I do send out cards, but it's just a picture with our name. :)
Oh, and that picture - hilarious.
I have a friend who is the oldest in her family of 4 and she's my age. Everytime her mom sends a Christmas card out to family friends, the picture is either JUST of my friend or a family pic then an extra pic of JUST my friend. She's always posed corny too and completely serious. Robby and I look forward to this card every year so we can make fun of it.
I too, enjoy funny christmas cards and think that should be a requirement.
My biggest pet peeve of Christmas cards is when you can't tell who wrote the letter.
Ding. Ding. You totally nailed it.
I hate to break it to you, but as I sit here blog stalking, too lazy to pick up for the cleaning lady coming in a few hours and think about what not to do today in an undecorated fresh christmas tree house, I am intense competition in the lazy comp.
We've been doing pictures of the kids taken one day and sent to be printed the next. The worst card had to be my own...a page full of bragginess, probably even when I only had 1 kid then. We've toned it down to 4 or 5 favorite things of the year (and a 1/2 of a page).
Love the brag fest though.
I really don't mind long winded Christmas cards and I also don't mind when they are in the third person. My MIL writes such long Christmas letters she needs extra postage just to send them out. What I don't like is cards without pictures...but the truth is I love getting them so I am not too picky. Plus the weird ones are always fun to laugh about.
I have never written one because I am afraid it will come out a sheer mockery of all of the letters we have ever gotten. You know, at least a paragraph about how little Suzie's dexterity with her Polly Pockets is the wonder of the neighborhood, how I ran a marathon and then went dancing with my overly handsome/romantic husband that night and had no problem wearing my heels and staying out late. How my h/r husband is making too much money for me to spend and spends all of his spare time thinking of romantic things to do for me. I would rather hear the real deal.
I agree with your assessment. My friend's husband just graduated from law school, and they sent the best one ever. It was one sentence with a footnote number by each word and the rest of the page was legalese extrapolation from the sentence at the top. Very witty.
1) Your assessment is right on.
2) I don't know what's funnier--the kitty on the sweater or that chick's expression. Or her side pony tail. Or how grandma told you how boring the letters are.
3) You are NOT lazy.
Did you see SNL on Saturday when they did the Christmas card letter as written by their dead cat? So funny.
I would have to add "no profanity" to the list. Aaron's cousin got married a couple years ago and his new wife wrote their first Christmas-as-a-couple letter; it was supposed to be funny and I guess it kinda was but being laced with 4-letter words it just reflected poorly on both of them.
I myself have never written a letter longer than two paragraphs since I don't think much of my writing skills, but I agree that letter or no letter, there must be a picture! And having the grown-ups as well as the kids in the picture is good too, so you can see who's gotten fat or bald over the years!
we keep the picture pretty and the writing short at the r house. each person gets one sentence to describe their current state.
i don't even read the long printed out novellas about all the books and songs that each kid knows how to read or how much schooling this one or that one has left. i have better things to do ...like figure out how we are going to KEEP our kids for christmas. (sorry, a little bitterness just crept out.)
stephanie has the best card ever. a 100% mocking christmas card--the theme followed in both photo and writ. i look forward to it every year.
i also look forward to getting every single pattern that costco offers and displaying them all on the back of my front door.
it seems costco is the only one that makes christmas cards.
that said, if you aren't going to send a picture, don't waste the postage. at least the costco ones include a picture.
That is great! I don't do a letter because I would not get the right tone...plus I think they should only be the front of page. No more. Even shorter is better.
The best I've seen? My parents get it from good friends and my mom insists it is only sent to a few, very close friends...but it is a BOOK. Really, a spiral bound book with a page to each child and grandchild. And quotes from the kids and stories and a BOOK!! At least 60 pages. Seriously...
I have a love-hate relationship with those update letters!!!
I may not do any cards this year - like you - out of laziness!
My favorite in my family was the year I got married and my grandpa didn't include it in his letter. First grandchild to marry and I don't get a mention, but my brother's minor football accomplishments somehow made the cut.
I love funny letters, but I can't write them, so no letter. No bragging, no mentioning your church callings, and please no more than 1 page! If it's too long I just skim so I don't miss anything too important.
I have been dying to put together some kind of brilliant letter/photo thing for years, but I am just too lazy to do anything. This year I DID send a photo card (the kind that says, "Merry Christmas. Love, us", so we didn't even have to write on them), but only because I won them (plus postage) on a blog contest. I am of the opinion that if you have a blog, there is no need for a Christmas letter anyway!
And, just like blogging, if it's unabashed bragging/lying, I don't want to waste my time. Give me REAL (so yeah, sarcasm is good)!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
My family never did the Christmas card thing. I guess my parents felt that bragging about their children wasn't their thing. My Aunt did enough of that for the whole family.
However, last year we decided to mock them all. I will send you the link to the picture so you can laugh.
This year we are debating about our family picture. Tyson (oldest brother) wants everyone to wear gay-looking ski gear. But it looks like we are doing full-bodied pajama's this year. (available at Target...your favorite store).
I'd like to add that I don't like receiving pictures of JUST the kids. Especially from old college roommates whose kids I don't even know.
I hate pictures of just kids too. I don't know the kids...I know their parents.
Yesterday I recieved a newsletter that let me know that child #1 was awesome etc, etc. Child #2 "is our challenging one" YIKES! I don't think that's appropriate.
Also, I do like the third person as long as it's not from the cat, dog, fish, dead cat, etc.
What I hate the most is when the letter starts out in 3rd person, then changes to 1st, then changes again and again.
I also like to have a small personal note hand written. I need to feel acknowledged. Not just somebody on the list.
i love christmas letters of all kinds, even the long braggy ones. i intend to send out one of my own someday.
Well a certain close relative to whom you owe your life and birthright, is, I believe, the laureate of holiday letters, and follows, I believe, most of your wise suggestions.
Even at the risk of global warming and deforestation, I rue the loss of all things paper--books, newspapers, letters, handwritten journals, notes, gift wrapping, origami, and cootie catcher fortune tellers. So I would like to see the card and letter traditions perpetuated.
Yet my communications with my own family are almost entirely electronic, my wife does all the selection and work on Christmas cards, picture, and letters (things I used to participate in), and I read only a few of the cards and letters we receive.
"cootie-catcher fortune tellers"!!!
That does it ... YOU are writing the letter this year. And find a way to work that in!
Love, Mrs. PDaddy
paul and i have received a number of christmas cards from friends this year... in my opinion, we're too young for sending out christmas cards. seriously, i just graduated high school... er, college... er, 4.5 years ago.
anyway, i love reading the update letters but will probably never write one on my own or even send a photo. but that's only b/c i don't want to make ppl feel bad about themselves. i mean - paul and i are really, really, really ridiculously good looking - not to mention witty, awesome and talented. who can live up to that?
I hate Christmas LETTERS, I love Christmas cards. Send me a family photo and wish me a happy holiday.
hello mrs. dub, i'm a long time reader, but this is my first comment. I too enjoy this time of year, because of the fun it is to read about other people's lives. I would have to say that the best "letter" I've ever read, was from my mom's college roommate. it was a photocopy of her journal, for the entire year! It was so much fun to know what she picked out for breakfast on March 24, 2004.
I enjoy your blog so much and I hope you don't mind me taking a peek now and then.
Sometimes I feel like I'm bragging too much in my christmas letter. This year I only sent it to those I know would be interested and those that I don't talk to often, don't read my blog, or don't see me all the time. And I keep it to one page. And I send a picture of EVERYONE.
it is absolutely my goal to be as funny as possible with my holiday cards!
http://pieceofcakeparties.blogspot.com/2008/12/family-holiday-card.html
There is only one rule to Christmas cards.
Brevity is a necessity.
But if you can be succinct and funny, well kudos to you.
I am now losing sleep over my paranoia that the Christmas card I just sent you is the one that prompted this most recent HTT! I think I followed most of your rules (although it is written in 3rd person because I always hated English class and I can't figure out how to write it any other way).
So I am strictly forbidding you and Mr. Dub from laughing hysterically at our lame Christmas card and then inviting friends over to laugh with you :)
I love you all and I'm sad you aren't sending out cards. Mostly because I would hope that you would send me one so I could have the super cute Miss Dub hanging on my fridge. Then I could invite all my friends over and brag about the cool people that let me hang out with them a few times :)
If I get a card that DOESN'T have a picture in it, I light it on fire. What's the point.
Don't send a holiday card [or baby announcement] via email. If we're not worth the postage, we're not your friends.
I have an old coworker who sends us a letter each year devoted to her dogs' sicknesses, and their attempts at getting a bun in the oven. Each one is funnier than the year before (I mean, to us... she's being serious). I can't wait for this year's. It's always a bit awkward and too much private information, but my husband and I get a good laugh.
The Christmas letters annoy me to death mainly because they are so braggy. If they wrote more like you said they would be much better! =)
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